THIS IS HOW NOVEMBER STARTS

I guess I made such a bad bad bad start of November. Just wanna speak up...

First --  To someone I've known for three years. I made such a "smart" decision with you. We promised not to talk each other till the time unknown, not even as friends. [we've been friends all along after breaking up however]  We couldn't talk, tweet, text, anything. Well, now I don't really get the point  honestly. You eventually broke the rule and I persisted with the promise. I've been thinking, it's not the right time we make another new issue again. You said you desperately need to see me that day but I could be so desperate for something if  only we met up again. What would you reckon? I wondered if we did meet, things would start over again and again. Honestly, I haven't seen any light between us, not at these days. Now I can only hope it would be something good for both of us.

Second -- It's happening [again]. Another case, another person. I don't know how much you care about me but I know that we just couldn't make it work. You know , now am asking myself if it's always good when I know someone is courting me. I kept asking and asking, checking on here and there if it feels any good. Well, my answer is "it depends". So it depends on something which depends on something just because it depends on how you could be. Now, don't you think that's fair enough? I just have no idea instead..

Third -- Confusing story with a new old i-wish-you're-the-one. You've been more like an old worth-treasured friend. But did we just ruined everything? Just say that at that time, we had this scenario, "How if we make out?" [you're speaking to me] Not literally said, but it seemed to be worse than such those frank words. Okay, stop there! I would really do that with someone worth loved. Am asking myself, how about making out with someone who loves me? Well, I'd get enough then. I was convinced when you said "those words" at the first time. Don't ask for my reply because you know it. But did you really mean what you say? I feel silence now. From there we stopped.


Fourth -- I am looking for something I dunno where.



All at the first week of November..

I've been toughen up..