Absurd Googling

Why do men have nipple???

Why do girls smell like fish?? Impolite and simply an absurd question.

Recalled

It's raining now and I don't have a lot of thing to do. As I'm typing this, I recalled my Grandpa once ever told me that whenever you feel like there's nothing much to do, that's the right time you might actually realize there are a lot of things you could do.

Grandpa, Grandpa, miss u much!

Hmm!

Dini hari ini dan masih terjaga, padahal mata uda ngantuk, kantung-kantung mata haus asmara mimpi tidur sudah bermunculan. Leher tegang, setegang punggung, setegang otak, setegang-tegangnya.

What am I doing?

Huh? What am I doing?

Whaa? What am I doing?

Oh yeah, what am I doing...

Love Song For No One

Submitted to insufficiency. This is sufficient to submit the insufficiency. Whoaa!

Obama dan Indonesia

Obama' Speech in Universitas Indonesia (courtesy by Youtube)

Link to Part 4 of 4

THIS IS HOW NOVEMBER STARTS

I guess I made such a bad bad bad start of November. Just wanna speak up...

First --  To someone I've known for three years. I made such a "smart" decision with you. We promised not to talk each other till the time unknown, not even as friends. [we've been friends all along after breaking up however]  We couldn't talk, tweet, text, anything. Well, now I don't really get the point  honestly. You eventually broke the rule and I persisted with the promise. I've been thinking, it's not the right time we make another new issue again. You said you desperately need to see me that day but I could be so desperate for something if  only we met up again. What would you reckon? I wondered if we did meet, things would start over again and again. Honestly, I haven't seen any light between us, not at these days. Now I can only hope it would be something good for both of us.

Second -- It's happening [again]. Another case, another person. I don't know how much you care about me but I know that we just couldn't make it work. You know , now am asking myself if it's always good when I know someone is courting me. I kept asking and asking, checking on here and there if it feels any good. Well, my answer is "it depends". So it depends on something which depends on something just because it depends on how you could be. Now, don't you think that's fair enough? I just have no idea instead..

Third -- Confusing story with a new old i-wish-you're-the-one. You've been more like an old worth-treasured friend. But did we just ruined everything? Just say that at that time, we had this scenario, "How if we make out?" [you're speaking to me] Not literally said, but it seemed to be worse than such those frank words. Okay, stop there! I would really do that with someone worth loved. Am asking myself, how about making out with someone who loves me? Well, I'd get enough then. I was convinced when you said "those words" at the first time. Don't ask for my reply because you know it. But did you really mean what you say? I feel silence now. From there we stopped.


Fourth -- I am looking for something I dunno where.



All at the first week of November..

I've been toughen up..

What do I stand up for there?

I must admit how much I've been feeling such eagerness for a serious relationship along the last few weeks. But love has never been easy, it takes all effort especially deep within you. For me, it became worse due to a particular reason which only some people knows what it is and I'm not gonna bear that here.

Most of the time I fell for someone is because I love someone so so so very much. It needs some phases; getting to know each other, learn to accept each other, and convincing each other. When the love comes both ways, then we would make it. When the love don't come both ways, then we couldn't make it. That sounds so simple, huh? Well, I just simplify it. If I have to expand things into details, it's just so torturing. Say, that particular issue I said before has been likely becoming the reason why having a true relationship has never been easy. They say that's a situation where you could never find someone who's really sincere, never ever --at that, I disagree.

Well, I was committed in a serious relationship two times. See, I made it. Yet both had eventually ended long time ago, but I believe those ended for something. I went through but then I went on. Not that easy of course, but the fact, we must look ahead, looking back is just to check and learn. 

I once decided to take a break with myself, avoiding any romantic stuff in my life. Every time I was attracted with someone, I talked to myself not to let the feeling goes too far. I kept my heart and I did it. But we never knew where the circumstances brought us and here I am in such a desperation again and again. And just some days ago, I sort of made a big decision, such a venture. I appreciate myself for doing that anyhow. I have my own reason and I think I must convince myself that I am fine by doing that. I open up myself, not just for relationship but also for a bigger world of blahblah. Err!

It's been almost a month. I feel like I've been standing up for nothing. The desperation developed and inevitably influenced a lot of things in my life. Things seemed to be worse. I dunno, I might go on with a new version of insight; I don't really hope I could find something good there after all. Just another way, I would hold back, being me who loves me.

I shared my desire to someone earlier. He told me to share the love with my family and friends instead. Well yeah, so I guess.

QUALITY TIME

One thing I kinda don't understand, emang weekend gue ga pernah benar-benar weekend. Tiga minggu yang lalu, kedatangan kunjungan juga dari Si Jejes, tapi saya harus serba buru-buru dari kampus karena kampus gue bikin ujian pada hari Sabtu. Bagus bener.. Akhirnya jadilah ketemu Si Jejes dengan mata berkantung, kurang tidur kemarinnya plus efek kelelahan yang tidak bisa disembunyikan oleh wajah. Ga pa pa, yang pasti hang-out bareng Jejes justru menjadi booster semangat yang uda ngedown karena overused.

Well, untuk weekend kali ini rasanya hectic sekali, padahal ya itu namanya dia adalah weekend. Sepertinya terbiasa dengan beberapa minggu terakhir, tiap weekend pengen jadi kuda liar alias senang-senang total. Eh, weekend kali ini  ga seperti yang diharapkan karena harus berurusan dengan kampus sampe sore, again and again. [hammer hammer] I actually had planned to hang out with Yung Jools this weekend tapi sempat kepikiran terancam batal. Gue kudu ngikut dosen pembimbing yang buat jadwal sesuka hatinya.  Untunglah, urusan bisa kelar, walau ya ituu..mepet-mepet lagi. Shortly, balik urusan di kampus jam 5an, siap-siap, dan langsung cepat-cepat meluncur ke tujuan. Dengan segala keriweuhan yang ada, gue berangkatlah dari Jalan Aceh ke Ciwalk.

Hujan bikin macetnya makin berasa sore hari itu. Bakal bakal bakal terlambat dari jadwal. Padahal lebih baik menunggu daripada ditunggu. Anyway, setelah lewat jalur-jalur tikus lumayan jadi lebih cepat, totalnya sekitar 35 menit nyampe di Starbucks. And there he was! Thanks for being so warm, the welcome was always great, plus the order on the table too. :p

Satu jam lebih memang kurang kalo buat sharing a to z  I must say that we can connect all topics from everywhere to anywhere. Seriously, I couldn't remember if we ever came up in a silent phase, terus mengalir saja sampai jauh. Haha! Well, until the time he must take a pack and go,  rasanya masih banyak yang nyangkut di leher [apa sih yo] Hehehe! Saying goodbye at about 9 with a wish we would catch up again soon. :p

Oh ya, masi sempat bilang ke Yung Jools, kenapa ya kalo ketemuan selalu gue lagi ribet di kampus. :D Kampusnya yang ga toleran menurut gue, harusnya dia tahu bahwa saya butuh break. [devil emoticon]

Anyway, that's all for this weekend. Thanks for the quality time!