Early this morning, someone talked to me and asked me if I would like to hear a song that I must had known. The song was turned on, then I heard this:
"God we lay down our burdens, our cross, our troubles before you because truly you are an all in all, you are king of kings, we'll worship you today, and praise your name, because of who you are and what you've done for us."
I didn't know what I felt that very moment. I was surprised. I could see a smile there; but I felt alone. I felt soooo alone, yet I was with someone. I just wanted to shout out loud to the Lord and say, "Lord, I missed you!!!!"
All memories came and filled up my mind, burned my hearts, stopped me from something I didn't even know what. There were only the two of us. There were two hearts. The first was likely trying to i don't know, the other one was crying inside.
"Agony!", I said. But I was hearing the words of worship. So why agony? Agony!", I said again. Yes, God was speaking to me through this song. He knew where I was; that I needed his comfort, his grace, his love. I was drifted away; right at that very moment. I didn't care, I wasn't sober, I wasn't aware. But I remained the same. I am still the same.
I'm listening to this song now. I still can't forget what happened to me this morning. When someone let me to hear the song again. I found out things were so random in my mind. Agony! I missed someone. I missed God. I wanna run to someone. I wanna run to God. But I can't just serve those two at once. God, why is it so difficult????? Why must this happen?
YOU ARE MY STRENGTH WHEN I AM WEAK| YOU ARE THE TREASURE THAT I SEEK| YOU ARE MY ALL IN ALL
SEEKING YOU AS A PRECIOUS JEWEL| LORD TO GIVE UP I'D BE A FOOL| YOU ARE MY ALL IN ALL
JESUS, LAMB OF GOD, WORTHY IS YOUR NAME| JESUS, LAMB OF GOD, WORTHY IS YOUR NAME
TAKING MY SIN, MY CROSS, MY SHAME| RISING AGAIN, I BLESS YOUR NAME| YOU ARE MY ALL IN ALL
WHEN I FALL DOWN, YOU PICK ME UP| WHEN I AM DRYYOU FILL MY CUP| YOU ARE MY ALL IN ALL